So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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