what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
