how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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