Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
