You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
