A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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