I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
