soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
