He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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