You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
