the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
