Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
