For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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