i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do vagina's smell?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
