listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
