afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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