So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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