from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Success! We fucked roommates!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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