no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
