Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize