soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
