I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
