I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize