Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
