I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
