Nicole vs. Life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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