It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
