I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
