U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
