I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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