So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
