I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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