i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
