I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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