just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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