You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His nipple licking is glorious
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