do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
