I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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