I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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