i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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