Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
