i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she smelled like a LAN party
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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