You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
