They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
