I must be too annoying 4 u.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
