i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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