GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
