it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
