Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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