so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
