she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
