toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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