when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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