Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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