Don't you send me to vm
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize