Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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