The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
