I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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