Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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