We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
pray to the hookup gods
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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