Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
